


i can’t sleep because of you (and suddenly it’s morning already)

by mainvocalrocky (infinityxu)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fever, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Sick Character, Sickfic, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-10-20 03:24:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17614511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/infinityxu/pseuds/mainvocalrocky
Summary: Seungcheol’s heart dropped. He knew something was wrong with Joshua, and he was willing to wait to hear it, of course he was - but the members were his family, why wasn’t he comfortable saying it in front of them? Especially Jeonghan?(aka. Joshua is very sad and sick and Jeongcheol take care of their baby)





	i can’t sleep because of you (and suddenly it’s morning already)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cute_lil_fluff](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cute_lil_fluff/gifts).



> i wrote this for [hattie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cute_lil_fluff) (who writes amazing fics btw!!) to thank them for all the requests they wrote out!! <3 (i hope u enjoy im so sorry it took so long!! im so slow haha)
> 
> sorry for the cheesy title it's lyrics from Oh My lolol
> 
>  **warnings:** mentions of vomiting

“You okay? You look really tired.”

 

Seungcheol realized that it might have been a bit of a dumb question, but he didn’t regret asking it. All of them were tired. They were on their way to their hotel after a long day of traveling, and it was nearly midnight, now - everyone just wanted to go to bed. Something aside from that seemed off with Joshua. His kind of tired wasn’t his normal kind of tired, and Seungcheol might have been a little impressed with himself to be able to detect that.

 

Joshua hardly lifted his eyes to look at Seungcheol, as if he would rather pretend he wasn’t asked that, and continue his staring contest with the floor of the car. That was something Minghao tended to do; he was hanging around him too much lately. “I’m okay.” Joshua murmured, he said, with every bit of forced nonchalance he could put into his tone.

 

Seungcheol pouted. There was nothing worse than that kind of answer when Seungcheol knew for a fact that something was wrong.

 

Maybe he just didn’t want to talk about it in front of the others, but that seemed weird, too. In the row in front of them were Soonyoung and Minghao, and then Jeonghan in the passenger seat. Those were all members he didn’t have much of a problem talking to when it came to serious things, especially Jeonghan. He wasn’t usually dismissive about things anyway.

 

Seungcheol also thought it was odd that Joshua was staring at the floor, rather than out the window. His eyes were usually at the window wherever they were, even when they were in Korea - but now, they were driving through LA, his home - wouldn’t he be excited to see everything again? He hadn’t been back in over a year.

 

“You sure?” Seungcheol asked, still keeping his voice low. He could tell Minghao was paying attention to the small conversation over the music playing in the car, but he kept his focus on his phone, pretending that he wasn’t hearing anything. He did that a lot. Soonyoung had his headphones in, but it was possible that his music wasn’t playing - he did that a lot to eavesdrop, too, although it didn’t work when he would interrupt the conversation once he heard something he felt the need to respond to. Jeonghan looked asleep. He definitely was asleep, though.

 

“I’ll tell you later.” Joshua murmured back, very quietly, so soft Seungcheol could hardly hear.

 

Seungcheol’s heart dropped. He knew something was wrong, and he was willing to wait to hear it, of course he was - but the members were his family, why wasn’t he comfortable saying it in front of them?

  
  


The rest of the car ride to the hotel was quiet, aside from the traffic noises from outside, and the low buzzing of the American radio playing. Joshua’s eyes never lifted to the window, not even once, and Seungcheol was kind of tempted to make him look. He didn’t have the chance to see his home often, Seungcheol just wanted him to take it in while he could.

 

Once they got to the hotel, they gathered in the lobby to do the usual random roommate draws. The staff were only able to get them six hotel rooms rather than the usual seven, so one of the rooms needed three people. Seungcheol was crossing his fingers that he would get his name drawn with Joshua’s.

 

Soonyoung was the one pulling the names. He always did it rather loudly and dramatically, with energy that Seungcheol admired, considered how tired they all were - Soonyoung made it fun, even if it was something as simple as drawing names for roommates.

 

He was using an app on his phone for the drawing, fumbling with it a little longer than usual. Seungkwan nagged him to stop cheating and get it going, and eventually, he gave in, dramatically calling out all of the pairs, as if they were participating in The Hunger Games.

 

“And then the three-person room is gonna be Coups hyung, Shua hyung, and Jeonghan hyung,” Soonyoung said, and a few of them groaned at the supposed irony that ninety-five-line was roomed together, but judging by the little look in Soonyoung’s eyes, Seungcheol was almost positive he had rigged that. He was definitely listening in on their conversation.

 

Joshua was one of the first ones to head for the elevator to get to their rooms, which were all lined up next to each other on the seventh floor. His eyes were still on the floor. No one seemed to notice that something was up, aside from the ones who already knew. Everyone else was too tired or busy talking to overanalyze it like Seungcheol was, he supposed. And maybe it was better that no one else was confronting him about it if he really told Seungcheol that he would rather talk about it later.

 

Seungcheol waited for Joshua to come out of the elevator after the pile of rowdy boys crammed in managed to get out and head for their rooms. Jeonghan was already on his way, but Seungcheol had the key.

 

Joshua halfway acknowledged that Seungcheol was waiting by looking at him, but walked off without much else, heading to the room that Jeonghan stood in front of.

 

Neither of them said anything before Seungcheol pressed his room key to the card reader and opened the door, and Jeonghan was the one to pull the handle and let them inside. The staff were still working on bringing up their suitcases, but for the time being, they had their bags with their essentials, which was all they needed.

 

When they were in the room, Jeonghan fell face first on the first mattress he got to with a heavy sigh, clearly exhausted and ready to go straight to sleep.

 

Usually, the first thing Joshua did upon entering a hotel room was open the blinds - but instead, he walked over to the second bed, and sat at the edge of it, pulling out his phone.

 

Seungcheol didn’t hesitate to wander over to sit beside him. He watched him silently for a few moments, absentmindedly tucking Joshua’s hair behind his ear, but Joshua didn’t pay him any mind. 

 

Seungcheol heard Jeonghan shift, and he looked over. “I’m gonna go ahead and shower, is that okay?” Jeonghan asked through a yawn, dragging himself off of the bed before noticing what was going on. His expression changed right away and he walked a little closer, brows furrowed and lips pulled into a pout. “Are you okay, sweetheart?” he asked meekly, looking at Seungcheol for answers when Joshua didn’t look up.

 

“Mhm, I’m fine,” Joshua answered half-heartedly, and Seungcheol saw how hurt Jeonghan was that he wasn’t answering him truthfully, something that Seungcheol didn’t understand. Why would he not be honest with Jeonghan?

 

Seungcheol Gave a little motion with his hand telling Jeonghan to get going, and although Jeonghan didn’t seem to want to do that, he started. “Okay. You know where I am if you need anything.” Jeonghan told Joshua. Joshua nodded without looking up, and Jeonghan sighed softly. He gave Seungcheol a look that said  _ ‘update me’  _ before he disappeared into the shower.

 

“What’s going on with you, hm?” Seungcheol asked him softly once he heard the shower water running, his worry clear in his tone. “You never brush him off like that, did he do something?”

 

“No, of course not - ” Joshua started out as he shut off his phone, but he exhaled heavily instead of continuing his sentence. He was trying to regulate how he was breathing as if the breaths were getting caught in his throat. As if he were trying to prevent tears. “It’s just...that new staff member, the one that’s been following our manager around. Did you...did you hear what he said?” his voice was so small, and it was breaking Seungcheol’s heart. Clearly, this had been on his mind all day, he could tell how pent up his words were before he spilled them in front of the two of them.

 

“What did he say to you?” Seungcheol asked, his tone caring but motivated by something else, for sure. He felt anger bubbling in his chest, ready if he needed to fight someone.

 

“He - ” Joshua started and then stopped again, pressing his lips into a fine line with another deep breath. “It’s - it’s stupid. It’s not even that big of a deal, honestly - ”

 

“Tell me what he said, Joshua. I don’t care if you don’t think it’s a big deal.” Seungcheol told him, his words stern but full of concern. Joshua did that often, downplay his problems, especially if they were problems he was bottling up all day. He was overthinking it.

 

Joshua took a few moments before answered, but he never looked at Seungcheol. “He - he told me I wouldn’t be allowed to see my family until Tuesday, when we leave. And - I told him that my mom’s coming to our Kcon performance, and I made plans to have dinner with my family on Monday, and he just - he said I wouldn’t be allowed to see them at all. Because - it’s distracting to our schedules, and that I’m way too easily distracted, but I’m _not,_ Cheol \- ”

 

“Hold on, only our manager is allowed to make those kinds of decisions, so unless he said that to you personally, that’s not happening,” Seungcheol told him, squeezing his hand, very aware of how worked up Joshua was getting. He felt bad for interrupting him, but the things he heard were ridiculous. No one could deny him of seeing his family. “I’m gonna talk to him about that, okay?”

 

Joshua took another deep breath, his eyes shining with tears. He rubbed his eyes before he could let them escape - he was trying very hard not to cry, that was obvious. Seungcheol wanted to tell him it was okay to cry, but if he was crying when Jeonghan came out of the shower, and there was a reason Joshua was hiding this from him, that wouldn’t be good.

 

“Wait, why didn’t you want Jeonghan to know?” Seungcheol frowned. That didn’t make any sense, Jeonghan would totally be on their side of this. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier in general?”

 

Joshua chewed on his lip before answering. “A while ago...it was stupid, I don’t know,” he mumbled, but Seungcheol urged him to continue. “Seokmin said something about missing his hometown, and, just...Jeonghan told him to stop complaining about it. That we all miss where we came from.” Joshua murmured, his voice getting smaller and smaller the more he spoke. Seungcheol was almost worried he wouldn’t hear the end of the sentence. “He was mostly joking, I know, but...he’s right. I didn’t want to say anything about this in front of him because of that. And then - not in the car, Minghao was there, he sees his family even less than I do.” he murmured softly. “I don’t...I shouldn’t complain. I chose this.”

 

Seungcheol gave a shaky sigh, hearing that. Joshua, Minghao, and Junhui all had that problem - not wanting to talk about missing home in front of each other, because they worried that they didn’t deserve to, somehow. Even if each of them saw their families once a year, if even. Seungcheol didn’t understand it. His heart hurt even thinking about what that felt like, being so far away from home constantly. He felt so bad for them - especially now, seeing Joshua trying to invalidate his feelings because of some stupid joke Jeonghan had made.

 

“You know Jeonghan didn’t mean that. He would  _ never  _ say that seriously, not to anyone, and especially not to you, Shua.” Seungcheol told him, squeezing his hand again. “And you know as well as I do that if Minghao knew about this he would do nothing but support you. It’s not a contest, who sees their family the least. Everyone deserves to go home, you three especially. And you even more especially, right now.”

 

Joshua leaned his head on Seungcheol’s shoulder after a few silent seconds, letting out a shaky sigh but not saying anything else. He felt a little warmer than usual, Seungcheol realized, but his mind became distracted when he heard the water in the shower shut off.

 

“Do you want Jeonghan to know?” Seungcheol asked him. “I won’t say anything if you don’t want him to know. I can talk to our manager and we can pretend it never happened.”

 

“Yeah, let’s...let’s do that.” Joshua murmured, lifting his head from Seungcheol’s shoulder.

 

“Okay. Go ahead and get into bed, okay? I’ll get it handled for you, don’t worry about it.” Seungcheol said as he stood up, not letting go of Joshua’s hand. He made a swift movement to kiss the top of his head.

 

“I’m sorry, Cheol,” Joshua said softly, pulling his legs up onto the bed, finally lifting his eyes to look at him.

 

“Don’t be sorry, baby.” Seungcheol insisted.

 

Joshua was curled up in the second bed soon enough, his eyes shut, although he didn't seem to be asleep. Seungcheol knew the latter couldn't will himself to sleep that easily after having something like that on his mind all day - even if he was exhausted.

 

Seungcheol sat on the remaining bed, deciding to leave Joshua by himself so he would be able to sleep easier. He complained about the two of them moving in their sleep a lot, and knowing Joshua would have trouble sleeping regardless, he didn't want to add that to it. He texted back and forth with their manager - letting him know of the situation, to which he responded that that certainly wasn't the case, and they would deal with the new staff member for even implying that would happen.

 

Seungcheol didn't understand it. What was that guy's problem, anyway?

 

“Is he okay, Cheol?” Jeonghan asked upon exiting the shower, still busy drying his hair as he climbed onto the bed to sit across from Seungcheol. He could see how the worry was etched into his features - Seungcheol wanted to tell him the truth, but he had a feeling the latter was still awake, even if his back was turned to the two of them.

 

“He's alright, mostly just exhausted, I think,” Seungcheol told him, meeting his gaze.

 

Jeonghan hummed in acknowledgment, eyes drifting to Joshua's form under the sheets. “I hope he can sleep well.” he murmured with a little sigh. “And hopefully he has some time to see his family. He hasn't been back here in so long, I know he's missed it.”

 

Seungcheol nodded. He knew that was how Jeonghan felt.

 

* * *

 

Jeonghan found himself waking up. Annoying, he thought, he doubted he has slept for very long to begin with. He ended up falling asleep beside Seungcheol pretty quickly, just after the latter shut the lights off.

 

Seungcheol was facing the wall, sort of snoring but not quite. Jeonghan sighed heavily, his head sinking deeper into the pillow in hopes of going back to bed.

 

Until he heard sniffling on the other side of the room.

 

He shot up almost immediately, remembering what had happened before they went to bed. Joshua was acting so weird - clearly, he wasn't just tired like Seungcheol was saying, so either Joshua was hiding something from both of them, or they were both hiding something from Jeonghan. Either way, Jeonghan felt horrible for not realizing it sooner.

 

He flipped the switch for the lamp on Joshua's side, and his sniffling stopped for a moment. He must have realized someone was awake.

 

It took Jeonghan’s eyes a few seconds to adjust to the light. Joshua was in the same position as before, his back facing them, but he was so much more curled up than before. The sheets were tangled up and messy, telling he had done a lot of moving around. He must not have slept at all.

 

“Baby,” Jeonghan started, carefully moving to sit at the side of the bed. He wasn't too close at first, worried he would crowd him. Joshua was hiding his face, very obviously holding back his tears. “Are you crying?”

 

He didn't say anything at first. Maybe it was a dumb question to ask since it was so obvious that he was. He was trying to balance out his breaths, Jeonghan realized, to stop himself from crying.

 

“Hey...what's going on?” Jeonghan murmured a little shakily. He moved off the side of the bed he was on and went to the other side, where he could see Joshua's face. He crouched down once he was there. Joshua curled into himself more with an unintentional whimper, and Jeonghan’s heart almost broke. He brushed a hand over his bangs as a way of telling him he was there, and that he didn't want him to hide his face - but he noticed that his skin was hot, almost burning.

 

There was a new kind of panic in his chest now. He pressed a hand to his forehead for a better reading, even though Joshua retracted further into his blanket and Jeonghan did that - but he  _ definitely  _ had a fever, and a bad one. “Sweetheart, you're burning up.” he murmured, hardly able to say it. How could he have missed something like this? “What's going on, love? Can you hear me…?”

 

“I can’t sleep,” he murmured shakily, his voice breaking, incredibly unsteady. Jeonghan squeezed his hand. “I can’t sleep, and - I don’t feel good, and I wanna go home...Hannie…” he stammered, weakly squeezing his hand back as he finally showed his face a little bit. Jeonghan saw just how unfocused and hazy his eyes were, that must have been from his fever.

 

“I know, baby. I know you do.” Jeonghan said in a hushed tone, pressing a kiss to his forehead. He felt Joshua weakly pulling on his hand, the one that he held onto, to his face, pressing it to his cheek. Jeonghan was a little confused at first, but he realized his hands must have felt nice on his burning skin since Jeonghan’s hands were always cold. Jeonghan felt his lip nearly quivering. “That feels nice, huh…?” Joshua didn’t say anything in response but he kept his hand there, looking a little calmer than he did before.

 

Jeonghan’s eyes drifted back to Seungcheol, who was still fast asleep on the other bed, completely unaware of what was going on. He needed his help. He needed to help him feel better somehow, physically and mentally, and he couldn’t do that all by himself. He was so used to always having help with these kinds of things.

 

“I’m gonna be right back, okay? I’m just gonna wake up Cheol so we can help you feel better.” Jeonghan told him, and Joshua squeezed his hand a little harder as if not wanting to let go of him - and while it broke Jeonghan’s heart to see that, he snuck his hand away and bolted back to the bed he was sharing with Seungcheol.

 

He climbed back onto the bed, shaking Seungcheol a little lightly at first, and then rougher when it wasn’t working. He knew Seungcheol was tired, Jeonghan was, too - but he needed help, and he knew that Seungcheol would want to help.

 

Seungcheol groaned, pulling the blanket over his head and inching away from Jeonghan, and Jeonghan felt his chest tighten. “It’s so late, Han…” Seungcheol grumbled, and Jeonghan was a little tempted to punch him.

 

“I know, Cheol, but - ”

 

Jeonghan stopped his sentence when he heard something between a weak cough and a gag from the other side of the room, followed by what definitely sounded like vomit.

 

He was off of Seungcheol’s bed again and almost immediately back with Joshua, chewing his lip when he saw the latter halfway holding himself up on the bed with a shaky arm, his head ducked and breathing heavily over a little puddle of vomit on the bed. Jeonghan heard little whimpers in his breath when he breathed, trying his best to breathe normally. 

 

Jeonghan normally found himself grossed out by this sort of thing, but that was the last thing on his mind. He had no idea Joshua was feeling that sick, not a few minutes ago, and certainly not before they had fallen asleep.

 

Jeonghan moved to sit beside him, carefully stroking his hair, staying there in case he felt sick again. He thought about maybe getting a trash bin for him, or moving him to the bathroom, but there wasn’t too much of a point in that, considering he had already thrown up on the sheets.

 

“’m sorry…” Joshua murmured very quietly, and Jeonghan sushed him before he could even finish the thought, his hand moving down to rub his back.

 

“It’s okay, baby, don’t be sorry,” Jeonghan told him, a little relieved that it seemed to be the end of the vomiting for now. He hadn’t even noticed that Seungcheol had gotten up, standing beside the bed, completely dumbfounded. “You’re sweating so bad, isn’t that uncomfortable?” Jeonghan asked, realizing his shirt was nearly damp from sweat - looking over to find his pillow was the same.

 

“He’s got a fever too?” Seungcheol asked, his voice small. Jeonghan nodded, and Joshua seemed to shrink. “We should…” he started, and Jeonghan turned to look at him, ready to take into consideration any solution he had. “We should get him in the shower, or bath, either...to get the sweat off and help regulate the fever. But, like, lukewarm. Not cold or hot.”

 

Jeonghan gave a little nod. That was a good idea. It could help Joshua feel a little more refreshed, too, to have clean skin and fresh clothes on after. Even if it didn’t help the fever any. “I’ll help him with that. Can you see if any of the kids brought medicine? Or the staff, maybe?”

 

“I’ll check, hopefully some of them are still awake.” Seungcheol murmured with a firm nod. He pressed a kiss to Joshua’s temple and was out of the hotel room before Jeonghan could say anything else.

 

It took them a bit longer than expected to get into the bathroom. Joshua could hardly stand up on his own, even when he tried his hardest - he was dizzy and his legs were wobbly, making it hard for him to support himself at all, but they managed.

 

Jeonghan helped the latter in peeling his damp clothes off of him. He was almost tempted to leave his clothes on him, seeing how he shivered when Jeonghan removed his shirt, but that would defeat the purpose of the shower. Joshua was wearing sweatpants, for some reason, Jeonghan knew that couldn’t be helping his fever, and he almost scolded him for keeping them on. He didn’t, though - he realized Joshua couldn’t have been thinking about that.

 

Jeonghan started the water, leaving Joshua in the corner with a towel, so he would at least have something to keep his shivering at bay. Jeonghan was as careful as he could possibly be with the temperature - if it was too cold, it would make his shivers worse, and too warm could make his fever worse. It had to be right in between. He let the water fill for a bit, keeping the shower going through the detachable nozzle, so he could have better control over the water.

 

He helped Joshua into the tub, overestimating how much control Joshua had over his body. Joshua slipped upon stepping in the water, and Jeonghan didn’t manage to catch him before Joshua hit his head on the wall. The loud sound from the wall and the wince from Joshua told Jeonghan that it must have hurt.

 

“I’m so sorry, baby, I’m sorry,” Jeonghan told him, taking his head and pressing about a dozen kisses to where he’d hit it once the latter sat down. Joshua was tensed up but relaxed a bit through Jeonghan’s fretting - Jeonghan knew it was his fault for causing it, but at least he could help to fix it. “How’s the water? If it’s too cold or hot, tell me, okay?”

 

Joshua nodded without any words, relaxing a bit more. Jeonghan took the detachable nozzle, careful to start with Joshua’s arms and move in from there, knowing it wouldn’t feel good to have it on the warmest parts of his body right away. 

 

Jeonghan snuck his free hand into the tub to squeeze Joshua’s hand just after he finished washing through his hair. He didn’t seem to be shivering or overheating, but he wasn’t reacting much to anything Jeonghan said or did.

 

“Is your stomach okay?” Jeonghan asked him after a few silent minutes, the only sound being the shower water hitting Joshua’s skin. Joshua gave a small nod but didn’t look up. “Are you sure, angel?”

 

“Mhm,” Joshua murmured, stretching out his arms, but he stayed quiet.

 

He started to nod off after a bit. Jeonghan touched his cheek every time he did, worried he was overheating, but Joshua nonverbally insisted he was fine, before nodding off again. Jeonghan supposed it was a good thing if he was tired enough to start falling asleep in the tub, that meant he’d be able to sleep easier once they got him back into bed.

 

Jeonghan shut off the water after a good ten or fifteen minutes, letting the rest of it drain out. He saw Joshua already start to shiver when Jeonghan stood up to get him a towel. He tried to stand but Jeonghan didn’t let him, keeping him sat down as he dried his hair first, and then the rest of him - asking him to stand to he could dry off his legs.

 

He took the towel to wrap around himself when Jeonghan looked for a hairdryer. Normally he would just let him go back to bed like that, but he didn’t want him going to bed with damp hair if he was already sick.

 

The drying didn’t take long - Joshua’s head was down most of the time, his chin almost against his chest, half asleep. Jeonghan lifted his head when he was finished, pressing a hand to his now dry forehead.

 

He was still warm, too warm for Jeonghan to be okay with. He knew a shower wouldn’t just make his fever disappear, but that’s what he was hoping.

 

Jeonghan reappeared with clean clothes for the latter and a bottle of water he found in the hotel’s mini fridge. He needed to stay hydrated, and cold water might help him feel a little better, too.

 

When he came back into the bathroom, though, Joshua was leaned over the sink, mouth slightly agape, spitting a wad of saliva into the sink. Jeonghan looked, and he was relieved to find he hadn’t thrown up again, but he looked incredibly nauseous.

 

“My poor baby,” Jeonghan murmured softly, pressing a kiss to the side of his head, to which Joshua whimpered. He let him stand over the sink for a while and rubbed his back in hopes it would help - he didn’t know if that did anything aside bring up a few weak, unproductive coughs, but Joshua took a breath and lifted his head, washing out the spit in the sink.

 

Jeonghan offered to help him with his clothes but Joshua insisted on doing it himself, which he did fine in doing until he got to the shirt, where he started to stumble sideways as he lifted his arms over his head to pull it onto him. Jeonghan chided him and sat him down at the lip of the tub, holding his arms up and pulling on the shirt for him.

 

He managed to get him to drink a few small sips of the water despite how nauseous he still clearly felt, which was better than nothing.

 

Jeonghan helped him into the bed that he and Seungcheol were lying in before - he noticed that the sheets from Joshua’s bed were gone. Seungcheol must have taken them out.

 

Joshua was curled into the bed soon enough, exhaling heavily and clearly more relaxed than he was before the shower. Jeonghan sat beside him, pulling his head up onto his lap, watching the tenseness fade from Joshua’s body as he played with his hair.

 

“What’s been bothering you so much, Shua?” Jeonghan asked him softly, noting that Joshua’s eyes were shut, but he wasn’t asleep, yet.

 

“I’m just tired,” Joshua murmured.

 

“If that were true, you would’ve been able to sleep,” Jeonghan said with a little sigh. He hated that Joshua felt the need to lie to him, even now. He was quiet for a few more moments - Jeonghan had almost accepted that Joshua wasn’t going to elaborate, but he finally spoke after a little sigh.

 

“Do you…” he murmured, a little hesitant, “do you remember...you told Seokmin once, to stop complaining about missing home?” Jeonghan’s heart shattered as soon as he realized where Joshua was going with that, and he finally tied all of the pieces together. He wanted to say something, assure him that those words didn’t mean anything, but Joshua continued. “The new staff told me I couldn’t see my family until we leave, and...I was just, I was worried you would side with them. I don’t know.” he said softly. It sounded like he was having trouble speaking, as if there wasn’t enough breath in his lungs or energy in his body to say so many words at once. “That’s why I didn’t tell you…”

 

“Shua…” Jeonghan started, unsure what to say at first, smoothing down Joshua’s hair as the latter relaxed a bit more. “I’m so sorry, Shua. I didn’t...I didn’t mean that, not at all. I was just messing around with him, but that’s not an excuse.”

 

Jeonghan had double checked with Seokmin afterward to make sure he knew he wasn’t serious, but clearly, Joshua hadn’t heard that, and even if he did, it didn’t matter. Jeonghan had been insensitive about something that Joshua had been struggling with the second he joined Pledis. Something  _ all  _ of them struggled with - Jeonghan included.

 

The door clicked open rather suddenly, and Jeonghan had almost forgotten that Seungcheol left in the first place. He was around the corner pretty quickly with a plastic bag in his hand, and two of the kids behind him. Junhui and Chan, Jeonghan registered.

 

He felt Joshua tense up a little bit, now with three more pairs of eyes on him. He could tell it make him a little uncomfortable, so Jeonghan moved his hand to rub his arm, in an attempt to get him to relax a little bit.

 

“Everyone else is asleep, so we went to the gas station to get stuff,” Seungcheol said, lifting the bag he had, which must’ve had the medicine in it. “Sorry it took so long.”

 

“Yeah, it’s actually really close to the hotel, we all just suck at English so it took us forever,” Chan said with a little sigh, and Junhui nodded, looking more embarrassed than the other two, for sure.

 

Joshua sort of giggled at that - it was fun to imagine, considering the three of them were probably among the worst in the group at speaking English. Of course Seungcheol managed to snag those two, and not at least Hansol, or even Seungkwan, to make it easier to communicate. 

 

“How is he?” Seungcheol asked Jeonghan a little shakily as Chan took the bag from his hand, taking a little box of pills out of it. He wasn’t sure what it was, but as long as it was some sort of a fever reducer, it should help Joshua.

 

“Still really warm,” Jeonghan told him, his hand moving back to Joshua’s head to feel his forehead. “But a little better, I think.”

 

“Didn’t Seungkwan hyung have some twenty-four-hour bug a while ago?” Chan asked, struggling a little bit to open the pill bottle. Junhui silently asked to take it from him and ended up opening it without a problem, to which Chan pouted. “Maybe that’s what Joshua hyung has.”

 

“I hope so. I don’t want him to be feeling like this the entire time he’s home.” Jeonghan said, patting his hair down again. 

 

Chan took the water bottle from the nightstand and two little pills from the bottle Junhui opened for him, before handing them both to Jeonghan, after deciding that giving them straight to Joshua, who was still lying down, was a little too forceful. Jeonghan thanked him. Junhui was busy putting something from the plastic bag into the fridge - they looked like little juice pouches. Caprisun, Jeonghan remembered - something that Joshua really liked, that reminded him of home. Jeonghan smiled at him - Junhui didn’t say anything even after he closed the fridge, but it was such a thoughtful thing for him to do.

 

“You two should go back to bed, okay? It’s late.” Seungcheol told both Chan and Junhui, and they nodded at the exact same time.

 

“Hyung, you better get healthy again soon. You can go back to being sick when we’re in Korea again.” Chan joked as he waved, and Joshua chuckled, weakly waving back at him.

 

“Feel better, hyung,” Junhui said, too, an awkward but genuine smile on his face as he waved.

 

Chan and Junhui were gone, then, and Jeonghan urged Joshua to try sitting up, so he could get him to take the medicine they had brought for him.

 

“What’d you take the kids with you for?” Jeonghan asked Seungcheol as the latter sat at the edge of the bed, watching as Joshua weakly pushed himself into a sitting position. “Too scared to go alone?”

 

“Shut up, Hannie,” Seungcheol whined defensively.

 

Joshua took the pills without any problem, drinking more of the water than he needed to, which was good. It meant he wasn’t feeling too nauseous to drink something, and maybe he was a little aware that he needed to stay hydrated to feel better. Jeonghan pressed a kiss to his cheek before Joshua sunk against him, curling into his warmth.

 

“Shua, the situation is solved. You’ll get to see your family.” Seungcheol told him upon scooting a little closer, a hand patting his knee. He said it a little quietly as if he didn’t want Jeonghan to hear - he probably still assumed Jeonghan didn’t know about it.

 

Joshua’s body relaxed again, and he sighed in relief, murmuring a tiny  _ ‘thank you’ _ .

 

“He told me,” Jeonghan told Seungcheol, and Seungcheol pouted, gaze somewhat averted. “I wish you would have told me, at least. I had no idea it was my fault.”

 

“It wasn’t your fault,” Joshua defended weakly, his voice still very soft as if he were half asleep. “I was overthinking it, Hannie.”

 

“Even if that’s true, I need to be more careful about what I say. I never want to be the reason you’re hurting.” Jeonghan told him softly, holding him closer. Joshua’s hand felt around to find Jeonghan’s without lifting his head and squeezed it once he found it, silently forgiving him.

 

It wasn’t long before Joshua sunk down to lie down on the bed again, and Jeonghan moved down with him, holding him in his arms. He was careful not to engulf him entirely, knowing his fever was still going strong, and not wanting to overheat him.

 

Seungcheol placed a trash bin beside the bed. Good idea, Jeonghan thought, in case Joshua felt sick again, although he hoped it wouldn’t happen at all - he hoped it was just a twenty-four-hour thing like Chan had said. “Do you need anything, baby?” Seungcheol asked carefully, a hand on Joshua’s shoulder, who faced away from where Seungcheol stood. Seungcheol didn’t use pet names often, certainly not as much as Jeonghan did, so Jeonghan found himself smiling at the use of it.

 

“I’ll be okay.” Joshua murmured, turning his head slightly to look over - silently telling Seungcheol to just get into bed with them. He did - he climbed into the bed with the two of them despite the bed not exactly being big enough for three people. He snuggled against Joshua, a hand on his waist, but not too close to crowd or overheat him.

 

“I love you,” Seungcheol told him softly against his ear, and Jeonghan saw Joshua smile.

 

“I love him more.” Jeonghan insisted, to which Seungcheol lifted his head to glare and then pout at him. Jeonghan responded by sticking out his tongue.

 

The giggle from Joshua that followed was a kind of snort-laugh that Jeonghan didn’t hear often from him, one that warmed Jeonghan’s heart to hear, and he pressed a long kiss to his forehead after squeezing his hand again.

 

“I love both of you,” Joshua said softly, his words drifting off slightly, clearly far beyond ready to finally be able to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed!! im working on a long, very sad jihan fic over [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17493116/chapters/41202452) if you wanna check it out and cry with us!
> 
> i appreciate feedback so comment if you'd like <3 thank you!! talk to me [here](http://mainvocalminghao.tumblr.com) on tumblr if you wanna! ♥ if you're reading this i hope you have an amazing day!!


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